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If menstruating grosses you out or strikes you as improper LJ discussion, feel free to read no further. However, I hope that this will actually bring some cheer to people, particularly the ladies on my friends list.

I woke up in a terrible mood and without energy, due to it being the first day of my period. (My only reward for this event, monthly, is that my pants fit again after a week of awful bloating.)

I decided that the best way to deal with my resultant homicidal desires was to write poetry about them. Therefore I give you several angry period haiku.

Hormones! My body
Punishes me cruelly, for
Not making babies.


Do not cross my path
Unless you have chocolate.
Or else, opium.


(with apologies to Yeats, and also [livejournal.com profile] ladytabitha:)

Blood-dimmed tide is loose -
A primal urge that bids me
Go stabby stabby.


I slept for twelve hours.
This has made your existence
No less annoying.


What is that you say?
No, I don't have PMS -
I simply hate you.


Take ibuprofen.
That way it will hurt less when
I bite your head off.


I am not crying.
These drops falling from my eyes
Are pure liquid hate.


My blood stains the sheets.
And your blood will stain the walls
If you don't shut up.

Date: 2005-03-07 11:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dietrich.livejournal.com
Ah, do you do Depo, or Seasonale?

I'm on regular BCP. It makes my periods more tolerable, obviously, but they can still be pretty bad. And PMS is still my curse.

Of course, no matter what dosage I use, I begin spotting in week 3 of pills and then bleed only slightly once I'm in the placebo week. The whole (literally) bloody nonsense ends up taking over a week.

Grr.

Date: 2005-03-07 12:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cathijosephine.livejournal.com
I'm on regular pills, but I skip the placebo week and start the next pack a week early. I slowly got to continuous by lengthening the time between periods until I was doing three packs in a row and then having a period, and eventually just quit the whole bloody business.

I was terribly moody when I first started lengthening the time between periods, but when I got through the fourth month continuous the moodiness dissappeared. My doctor says it's perfectly safe.

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