kitchen_kink: (eggplant)
Post-breakfast love:

kitchen_kink: (cat-tini)
My awesome housemates went liquor-shopping and brought home this crazy limited-edition stuff called Absolut Boston. It is vodka infused with black tea and elderflower. And it is MADE OF AWESOME.

Especially awesome is a drink in which - yes, yes, I invented! thank you, thank you - which was originally called The Bee's Teas (after the Bee's Knees, which involves gin, honey simple syrup and lemon juice) but is now called a Boston Iced Tea.

Put a goodly glug of this stuff over ice.

Add a smaller glug of honey simple syrup. (Make this by mixing one part honey with one part warm water. Stir and thank me later.)

Add a righteous squeeze of lemon juice.

Swirl and enjoy.

kitchen_kink: (mercenary)
...both for defying gender stereotypes and for being randomly handy.

Just now, the toilet wouldn't flush. The handle just flipped up and down. So, instead of just calling the landlord (after midnight) or waking up [ profile] imlad, I opened the tank. Mind you, I've never fixed a toilet in my life. But that chain with the plug on the end of it looked like it'd do something if I pulled it. Sure enough, that flushed the toilet. Handle still didn't work though. Oh hey, look at that - the handle connects to a lever, and the chain I pulled has a loop on the end. Connect loop to lever. Toilet fixed.

Even if that's just silly and obvious, still: go me.
kitchen_kink: (eggplant)
I hate olives.

Now, I know this may be a shocking annoucement for those in my audience with more delicate consitutions and sensibilities, but it is nonetheless a (recently) true statement, and one I have stood by for my entire life.

Not that I had any personal resentments toward olives. An olive didn't kill my brother; no olives owe me money. No, I just have never liked the damn things. And I tried. Oh, how I tried. You see, while I finally came to accept my hatred of olives, I never made fun of them as a stupid food to like, or taunted olive-eaters in their olive-eating orgies of pleasure. No, I wanted to like olives. Olives seemed like a good food, a serious food (though not a serious pastry). My whole family liked them, and I figured, given my mother and grandmother's perfect blemishless olive skin, that I was cursed with acne because I hated olives. (They really are supposed to be good for your skin. Not just olive skin, either. Shut up.)

So, every time there were olives around, I would try one. Didn't matter what kind: kalamata, canned black, green with pimientos, whatever. I'd take one, bite into it, and...purse my lips...and find a napkin...and spit that thing right out again. Yes, this was food I couldn't even force myself to swallow. But I kept on trying. Years, and no change.

Then, one night at Gargoyle's, I decided to try the olives that they serve along with some luscious Marcona almonds. They were small, and of various colors, and herby, and I popped one in my mouth and...hey...this is not so bad. Actually, this is kinda good! Lemme try another one, maybe that one was broken. No...this one's good, too!

And suddenly, for no reason at all, I liked olives.

And that's the story of me and olives.

And in celebration of this, I give you my non-recipe for the thing I randomly put together tonight, which also happened to be the first thing I've ever cooked with olives in it. Because you know, I hate olives.

I was gonna call this Greek Stew, but then I kept thinking, "Saute a coarsely chopped onion in olive oil...Add one diced Greek..."

So far, it's just called Greek Thing. )
Jesus. Next thing you know I'll be eating mushrooms...oh wait...[ profile] entrope!!
kitchen_kink: (writing)
The subject line: "The only real cure for we ght loss."


Okay first of all, in this culture, is anyone really looking for a cure for weight loss?? With apologies to those rare few who are underweight and have trouble maintaining body mass, to whom I doubt that this message was directed.

Secondly...notice that the subject line itself is already experiencing some weight loss.

And, without getting too punny about it...once you start losing 'i's, the rest of your sense is sure to follow...
kitchen_kink: (bliss)
Warning: total fluff herein.

An announcement:

Ladies (and gentlemen who enjoy similar ornamentation):

If you need a little mood-lift, do yourself a favor.

1. Go into your local CVS or Walgreen's and find the makeup area for NYC brand.

2. Pick out a couple of outrageous and happy-making nailpolishes (or even just one!) for $.99 apiece.

3. Strip the old dark red polish off yer tootsie nails and apply something new and flashy, then throw on sandals for the first time this spring.

4. Squeee!

My nails are now nail-colored with silver glitter ornamentation, with occasional larger flecks of cobalt blue glitter.


This moment of complete superficiality has reached its conclusion. Go do something else now. I mean it!
kitchen_kink: (scary)
If menstruating grosses you out or strikes you as improper LJ discussion, feel free to read no further. However, I hope that this will actually bring some cheer to people, particularly the ladies on my friends list.

I woke up in a terrible mood and without energy, due to it being the first day of my period. (My only reward for this event, monthly, is that my pants fit again after a week of awful bloating.)

I decided that the best way to deal with my resultant homicidal desires was to write poetry about them. Therefore I give you several angry period haiku. )
kitchen_kink: (amused)
Well, the second semester of my second year of law school has begun, and already I'm overwhelmed. I had gotten so used to the co-op situation, to working every day at the non-profit, that being back in classes is a bit of a shock. I must admit I prefer the practical experience. Sure, it was long hours, but I generally left the work at work. Now it's back to school-driven long-range deadlines, which I still, after all these years, manage to leave to the last minute.

Good news is, the firm might be interested in bringing me on once I graduate. They need someone specializing in alternative family structures, not to mention someone to stay on the edge of all the legislation that's beginning to result from the legalization of gay marriage. It might be a good place to start, but I have to admit I'm holding out a little for the lobbying group I'm looking at for my next co-op: legalize poly marriage or bust, baby!

I will say, given that last remark, that it's weird being single. It's years since I've had an apartment to myself, only my own voice answering when I ask the walls what's happening to me. But law school does have a way of eating your life. For now, at least, gone are the days of dating three people and going to *those* kinds of parties. There just isn't time, and anyway, sex isn't that important. My career is paramount; everything else can wait.

Okay, off to pick up my dry-cleaning...

[This post brought to you by Richard Adams, Lewis Carroll, and the numbers 1-27-05.]
kitchen_kink: (Default)
I was so pleased with this little quiz I came up with to test my students' knowledge of MLA citation. Administered it today and didn't get a single chuckle. Hopefully my LJ peeps will represent.


1. Choose the correct MLA format citation:

a. Math, says Hutzley, “is a ridiculous waste of time” (136).
b. Math, says Hutzley, “is a ridiculous waste of time.” (136)
c. Math, says Hutzley, “is a ridiculous waste of time” (Hutzley, 136).
d. Math “is a ridiculous waste of time” (Hutzley 136).
e. Both a and d
f. None of the above

2. Correct the following sentences to put them into proper MLA format.

a. “Time melts when you’re having fun.” (Dali, p. 28)

b. As Einstein states, “Your hair’s not so great either, pal.” (Scatterbrain and Nincompoop, 133)

c. “It’s not a question”, says Bush, “of evidence. I just wanted to kick ass” (38.)

d. In a retraction yesterday, Nietzsche stated “God isn’t dead after all. He just hates you”. (Riles, Agitates, Annoys and Blathers 146)

3. Choose the correct format for this bibliographic entry.

a. Kerry, John. “Respect Me, Bitches,” from I Have Three Purple Hearts; What Have You Got? A Biography. Boston, Imaginary Press 2004, pages 2-28.

b. John Kerry, “Respect Me, Bitches.” I Have Three Purple Hearts; What Have You Got? A Biography, Imaginary Press, 2004, Boston. 2-28.

c. Kerry, John. “Respect Me, Bitches.” I Have Three Purple Hearts; What Have You Got? A Biography. Boston: Imaginary Press, 2004. 2-28.

d. Kerry, John. “Respect Me, Bitches.” I Have Three Purple Hearts; What Have You Got? A Biography. Boston: Imaginary Press, 2004. 2-28.

4. Place the following quotation in a complete sentence, using it as evidence for an argument that square things are better than round things. Introduce the quotation, cite it properly, then show how it supports your argument: “Most furniture meant for storing things is designed with square corners.” –John H. Researcher, page 23
kitchen_kink: (elated)
This morning, in my inbox, was this:

With the subject line, Re: Guten Tag! :))

Good morning, campers :)
There is no force so democratic as the force of an ideal
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them
Disease is a vital expression of the human organism
It is easy to perform a good action, but not easy to acquire a settled habit of performing such actions
The modest person is usually admired, if people ever hear of them

Why paing big money for boxed software ??
Save up to 95% on price buying OEM licensed software from us now!!
All the software is OEM- Meaning that you don't get the box and the manual with your software.
All you will receive is the actual software and your unique registration code.

A software ad led into with bad jokes and proverbs! Is this like the strange advertising movement afoot wherein the actual thing they're selling remains opaque but the ad is just so damned inneresting that you watch anyway?

Oh, and the best part:

The message is from my good friend, Squish H. Ustinov.


kitchen_kink: (Default)

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