An Actual Exchange, Or, It's a Good Thing I Freak Out When I See Needles

[kitchen_kink]

(Scene: The nursing department at the Marino Center. DIETRICH waits in a chair, reading The Naked Truth: The Untold Story of Sex in Canada. She is here to complete her physical - get her eyes and ears checked. A NURSE, who has already passed by and apologized several times for making her wait, enters)

NURSE: I'm sorry. Would you follow me please?

DIETRICH: Sure.

(The NURSE leads DIETRICH to an examination room, carrying a tray of items)

NURSE: Now, if you could just sit right there...

(CLOSEUP on items in tray: alcohol swabs, a few papers, and a syringe. DIETRICH balks, notices folder beneath tray, which has a strange name on it)

DIETRICH: What's all this?

NURSE: It's...aren't you here for...aren't you Susan?

DIETRICH: Nooo...

NURSE: Oh, jeez. I'm sorry.

(DIETRICH visibly relaxes and stops sweating)

NURSE: What's your name again?

Comments

[northbard.livejournal.com]

they were going to give you injections without first confirming your name? As in "Now Ms. Dietrich, would you hold still a moment"?

Yoinks.

and what's this book? There's sex in Canada??!! You mean we don't need to keep coming down to the US to find sex? Do you really want us finding out...?

[dietrich.livejournal.com]

One hopes. She was having a harried day, apparently, and I wasn't even inside the door of the examining room before I noticed the needle and clarified things. I imagine if I hadn't, things would've proceeded in such a way that the confusion would've cleared up before such a mistake was made. But I didn't give her time - I don't let doctors or nurses do anything to me lightly.

[wurmwyd.livejournal.com]

Hi There!

See, and I'm not really afraid of needles. I might not've given it a second thought.

"Hm, they're actually vaccinating you during physicals now? Well, okay...".

Actually, you probably just missed a chance to be comfortably wealthy for the rest of your life on a malpractice suit.

[dietrich.livejournal.com]

Well see, I'd finished the rest of my physical last month - they were using the space they usually use for eye and ear testing for a flu clinic, so I had to come back. Last time I checked, you didn't need any shots while having your eyes and ears checked.

And anyway, I'm a classic doctor-questioner - I don't let anyone do jack shit to me until I know what, why, what it's going to feel like and what the alternatives are.

Then there was Ert, whose doctor in San Francisco stabbed him in the chest with a needle full of cortizone for his chest pains in the middle of his protests...man I'd like to find that guy and shake him til his teeth rattled...

[greendalek.livejournal.com]

Sheesh, that almost reads like a Monty Python sketch. Given just the right amount of padding, that could easily stretch to fill a hilarious six or seven minutes.

Why, yes, I am deranged. Thanks for asking!