Two songs in my head today, for some reason.

[kitchen_kink]

The first one I love because it's a sexual initiation song. The second because, well, I really like the idea that maybe God just has no idea what he's doing.

Bonus for figuring out what they have in common. (Because I certainly don't know.)


"I Know Things Now" from Into the Woods
Music and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim

Mother said, "Straight ahead,"
Not to delay or be misled...
I should have heeded her advice...
But he seemed so nice.

And he showed me things
Many beautiful things
That I hadn't known before,
They were off my path
So I never had dared
I had been so careful
I never had cared
And he made me feel excited--
Well, excited and scared.

When he said, "Come in,"
With that sickening grin,
How could I know
What was in store?
Once his teeth were bared,
though, I really got scared--
Well, excited and scared--

Then he drew me close
And he swallowed me down
Down a dark slimy path
Where lie secrets that I
Never want to know
And when everything familiar
Seemed to disappear forever
At the end of the path
Was Granny once again--
So we wait in the dark
Until someone sets us free--
And we're brought into the light,
And we're back at the start.

And I know things now,
Many valuable things
That I hadn't known before:
Do not put your faith
In a cape and a hood
They will not protect you
The way that they should
And take extra care with strangers
Even flowers have their dangers
And though scary is exciting,
Nice is different than good.

Now I know: Don't be scared,
Granny was right--just be prepared...

Isn't it nice to know a lot?

And a little bit, not.




"God Shuffled His Feet" by the Crash Test Dummies

After seven days,
He was quite tired,
So God said:
"Let there be a day
Just for picnics,
With wine and bread."
He gathered up
Some people he had made,
Created blankets
And laid back in the shade.

The people sipped their wine,
And what with God there,
They asked him questions.
Like, "Do you have to eat,
Or get your hair cut, in heaven?
And if your eye
Got poked out in this life,
Would it be waiting up
In Heaven with your wife?"

God shuffled his feet,
And glanced around,
And then,
The people cleared their throats,
And stared right back
At Him.

Then He said:
"Once there was a boy,
Who woke up with blue hair.
To him it was a joy,
Until he ran out
To warm air.
He thought about
The friends he'd come to see:
Would they laugh or had
He got some strange disease?"

God shuffled his feet
And glanced around,
And then,
The people cleared their throats,
And stared right back
At Him.

The people sat waiting,
Hot on their blankets,
In the garden,
But God said nothing,
Till someone asked him,
"Beg your pardon:
I'm not quite clear,
About what you just spoke--
Was that a parable
Or a very subtle joke?"

God shuffled his feet
And glanced around,
And then,
The people cleared their throats,
And stared right back
At Him.