kitchen_kink | (no subject)

I've been listening to a lot of podcasts while exercising lately, and I'm loving "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me." The one I listened to yesterday had a highly entertaining piece about best-selling Japanese novels that were composed on cell phones. Taking it just that step further (as they tend to do over there for the sake of comedy gold), Peter Sagal had Carl Kasell read some famous novels - if they had been written on Twitter.

(I reproduce here from memory - accuracy not guaranteed.)

The Grapes of Wrath: Times are bad. Sister breastfeeding homeless guy. Man, I'm outta here.

Pride and Prejudice: I hate that guy! Actually, he's kinda hot.

and my favorite,

Lolita: This post removed due to violation of Terms of Service.

I propose starting a meme - particularly because I kind of hate Twitter and find it useless. Express your favorite novels in fewer than 140 characters - and have people guess what they are.

Here's mine (trivially easy):

Bellies of airplanes suck. Much prefer trees. Especially while naked. They can't prove I'm not really crazy.

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Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

gilana

Catch-22?

I like this game! How about:
Wait, what year is this? I miss my husband! Oo, what's under *his* kilt?

frobzwiththingz.livejournal.com

"My marriage sucks. Death by Sledding Into a Tree would be better. Eit. that didn't work out so well."

hahathor.livejournal.com

Everyone in this world is lacking something. I just want to go home. Damn dog keeps chewing my phone – and the monkeys are even worse!

trowa-barton.livejournal.com

ETHAN FROME!!!!!!

Too easy

I was thinking of just using the first two sentences, but I kinda wanted people to be able to get it.

I dunno, it mostly sounds like the Wizard of Oz to me, except for the phone. Wicked?

The phone is mentioned only because, well, tweeting...

ling-tso.livejournal.com

Ooh, I love it! I hope these aren't too easy.

1. Our story is so romantic. Me: orphan turned governess. Him: rich eccentric with crazy wife in attic. True love!

2. She beat me, enslaved me, and had her new boyfriend whip me. So hot!

3. Rockets, Nazis, bawdy songs. And the ending makes no sense.

4. My best friend was a mousy, mystical freak. He gave his life to save some children; very disarming.

unknownrockstar.livejournal.com

Thursday; Earth exploded, best chum's an alien, + an asshole, got us stuck on prehistoric Earth.

:D

satyrgrl.livejournal.com

Ah shit! I’m a donkey! Save me, Goddess! Oooo! Roses!

Dead wife is stalking me. Pretty sure new boss is a con man. Knows some freaky people. What kind of name is Wednesday, anyway?

dietrich.livejournal.com

Ooohh...I think I'm going to be worse at this than I thought.

I haven't read it, so don't laugh, but - The Time Traveler's Wife?

1. Jane Eyre

2. Story of O?

3. Huh. I dunno!

4. Also stumped.

Hitchhiker's Guide??

You're stumping me here. :)

Urg. The only Wednesday I know is from the Addams Family, which is so not a book. I am ashamed. :)

I meant to squeeze in: "I miss Tea" ;)

Midsummernight's dream!

American Gods, Neil Gaiman. ^_^

Good guess! But no, think MUCH older.

Indeed!

The Odyssey?

Ack! I suck! I've even READ that!

Damn! really? I was on a roll... I got nuttin'. :\

1. Yup.
2. I haven't read the Story of O, but I always thought it was boy-on-top. I was thinking of Venus in Furs.
3. Hint: also parabolas, bananas, a disgusting candy scene.
4. A Prayer for Owen Meany.

It's The Golden Ass by Apuleius. Arguably the first novel!

the Sonny Bono story?

My dreams come true, my shrink's using me to improve the world, but it just gets worse! Now my gf is gray, at least the aliens are friendly.

From: (Anonymous)

5. North pole is beautiful; wish you were here. Building a creature. Hmm, better read the manual next time.

6. Husband unsatisfying. Took up with the gamekeeper. He has the cutest name for his penis!

7. E: O hai, prosecutin my dad for murder S: Why is that good? E: OMGWTFBBQ? S: Pwnz0r3d!

8. hi boss
my friend
who claims to be cleopatra
is out with a boyfriend
please leave a crust
in the wastebasket

Charles found some old documents, didn't know when to stop. Now we have a basement full of deformed things. Y'AI 'NG'NGAH YOG SOTHOTH!

Whoops; those last two were both me.

something by HPL certainly.

(no subject)

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