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[personal profile] kitchen_kink
A college senior at UConn was sexually assaulted, fought off her attacker, then was circled and further assaulted by a pack of cheering dudes - whom she also fought her way out of.

On the one hand, her fighting back, then writing about it in the school newspaper, is awesome.

On the other hand, dude, you see a woman attacked and you laugh and attack her some more?

And then you start with your blame the victim bullshit, and confirm other girls' shame and feeling that they shouldn't come forward about their own experiences with rape and assault?

The title of this post was my favorite comment from the first linked article. If we can't change the attitudes that make these boys act they way they do, perhaps it's time to arm the female populace. Is rage all that will stop this?

Date: 2008-05-09 04:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tisana.livejournal.com
OK.
"Affectionately known" and "rape trail" shouldn't be in the same sentence. Ever. If you know your college has a place with a nickname like that, the folks running it should be doing something about it.

But good for her for punching and not taking people's shit.

Date: 2008-05-09 04:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] selfishgene.livejournal.com
It's way past time to arm the female populace.

Date: 2008-05-09 04:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greendalek.livejournal.com
I expressed much the same opinion on the comments page of the second article. Anger-management counseling, "zero-tolerance" regulations, flowery campus-wide policy declarations, lectures from prominent feminist authors, and that passive attitude of "wait around for the cops" has not solved the problem and it is never GOING to solve the problem. Time for the ladies to arm up. Not waiting around for permission, not humbly walking into city hall asking for it, just DOING it. Regulations be damned.

All it's gonna take is a couple incidents where an aggressive guy with "entitlement" on his alcohol-fogged mind suddenly turns up with a skull full of .44 slugs, you're gonna see that rape problem clear up pretty damn fast.

Date: 2008-05-09 04:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] klingonlandlady.livejournal.com
Rage and being armed are not the same thing... being armed is merely a precaution. (And of course enough training to know how to handle firearms safely... and effectively.)

Speaking as someone who takes precautions.

Much as i like Hothead Paisan...

Date: 2008-05-09 04:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] klingonlandlady.livejournal.com
Well, if he's alcohol fogged and just being a weiner, you can probably bop him on the head with a bottle and run for it. Entitlement comes from not thinking people will fight back. But I'd reserve the ammunition for people who are a serious physical threat in a situation it doesn't look like you can get out of any other way.

Date: 2008-05-09 04:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dietrich.livejournal.com
True. Perhaps I should change it to "is violence all that will stop this?"

It's incredibly sad to me that after all this time, the only thing that really seems to work against rapists is to shoot them. (Or at least punch them in the head.) This may sound pollyannic, but when are we going to start encouraging a society where this kind of behavior is unacceptable? I mean, obviously in any society you have outliers - your serial killers and so on. But physical assault and murder aren't problems of epidemic proportions on college campuses - and if they were, someone would be doing something about it. Why is there such tacit acceptance, then, of widespread sexual assault and rape?

Incidentally: you pack? Hot. ;)

Date: 2008-05-09 04:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clara-girl.livejournal.com
have you seen this? it's a short film made by a woman at... pennstate? anyway, i saw it posted by [livejournal.com profile] harm_city_heart last week. it made me twitch.

Date: 2008-05-09 05:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] packbat.livejournal.com
Why is this society so broken? Where does this shit come from? What happened?

Date: 2008-05-09 05:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rigel.livejournal.com
Gotta love the quote from the article itself, presmuing it's accurate. "When it comes to 'rape', the vast majority of the time the only injustices are felt by men, not girls."

It's beliefs like this which show just how pervasive the problem is.

Date: 2008-05-09 05:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kijjohnson.livejournal.com
I am seeing red, this makes me so mad.

Date: 2008-05-09 06:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dda.livejournal.com
Armed is one thing, knowing how to use those arms is quite another. I would urge anyone thinking of arming themselves to take some courses that will teach them how to use those arms in a calm and rational manner when the time comes. Some consider the only thing worse than being unarmed is to be armed and have that weapon taken away and used against you. It is also (IMO) critical to have armed people never over-react to a situation; that implies they aren't really able to handle the weapon.

In short, if you're packin' heat, be ready to use it when necessary, but only when necessary.

Re: Much as i like Hothead Paisan...

Date: 2008-05-09 06:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pseydtonne.livejournal.com
Pistol whipping! Guns are effective even without bullets because they're solid hunks of metal. A bottle could break in your hands but a gun is solid love.

I say: arm up. Hand out guns to the women at college orientations. That's be the one training session no matriculating co-ed would ever forget. "Well, I dropped out after my sophomore year when the funding ran out. But I still had a permit to carry, so I joined the police!"

Yeah, I'm liking the sound of that.

Date: 2008-05-09 07:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] goat.livejournal.com
OMG...I can't believe some of those comments calling her a liar or attention whore, or saying she's misusing her power as editor.

*puke*

but ps - she rocks. I hope I'm able to stand up for myself so well if I ever find myself in that situation.
Edited Date: 2008-05-09 07:38 pm (UTC)

Date: 2008-05-09 08:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dietrich.livejournal.com
It's actually a quotation from one of the commenters on the original article...yeah. The comments are obscene.

Someone responded, "You know what's gonna feel unjust? When I cut off your nads."

There's something about angry women that is just awesome and funny.

Date: 2008-05-10 04:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] klingonlandlady.livejournal.com
You'd think the concept that women are people and no means no would percolate through our society better than it has... it's just nice how most guys in our social circle actually really get it right.

And: Not often, but it's nice to have the option. And if you suddenly acquire a stalker, that's the wrong time to have to start the permitting process.

Date: 2008-05-10 04:59 am (UTC)

Date: 2008-05-10 05:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] klingonlandlady.livejournal.com
I'd add that self-defense and model mugging classes DO help, too. The woman in the article fought her way out. Being mentally and physically ready to defend yourself and figure out a sketchy situation helps a lot.

What's kind of creepy is the passivity a lot of women are taught... "Oh, I could never hurt anyone... oh, just wait for the police..." There are some bad people out there, and sometimes no-one else will help you.

Re: Much as i like Hothead Paisan...

Date: 2008-05-10 05:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] klingonlandlady.livejournal.com
plus, it's a much better deterrent if an attacker never knows who might be armed and able to fight back :)

Date: 2008-05-10 02:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] artemisedge.livejournal.com
Every now and then I do get flat-out depressed by how intensely misogynistic our world is...

The conversation here, though, about whether or not self-defense classes help women or not is an interesting one. I took martial arts as a teenager, but I've never needed it (perhaps a good thing, since I'm sure I'm "rusty"), although I have found myself in frightening situations. In those, however, flashes of anger on my part, and turning on those coming after me was bizarrely effective. This is no way speaks to the experience described by this young women, but it does make me suspect that one reason this male behavior is so prevalent in its early stages (and therefore sowing the seeds for escalation) is the female tendency to not be respond with fierce aggression.

Also, I sat in on the first of a series of classes on self-defense when I was in college. I did not go back. If only because the men teaching it seemed very concerned with explaining to women that they did not HAVE to fight back, and that it was possible that fighting back would make the whole assault worse if it was not a success.

To me, it was like the rapists themselves had gotten to write the curriculum for that class.

Not to mention that there is no credible evidence out there that indicates fighting back makes what would have been a civil little rape a more harmful rape.

Date: 2008-05-10 04:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dda.livejournal.com
There are some bad people out there, and sometimes no-one else will help you.

Sadly, this is quite true. Most of the people out there are, happily, not bad and most of the time the authorities do a good job of protecting people. Most of the time.

I believe that knowing how to defend yourself is a necessary skill for both women and men.

Date: 2008-05-10 07:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrf-arch.livejournal.com
Rage is less useful than good aim. But I agree with you.

Date: 2008-05-10 11:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catling.livejournal.com
Ugh. Just... ugh. My reaction is much like yours. I'm impressed with how she handled it, horrified by the ordeal she went through and disgusted by some of the reactions her story is getting.

I don't have a solution, because training us all up on self-defense and/or arming us only helps us to not be victimized when these horrific situations arise, it doesn't get at the attitude that leads to a leering, nasty ring of men (and even some women, apparently) cheering on rape. I am at a loss as to how to reach into that attitude and transform it. Some men feel that it is their right to take what they want with no regard for the women they are taking it from. How do we reach that? Just keep shooting until we remove everyone with that mindset from the population?

UGH.

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