1. I just made one of the many cute Diesel chicks laugh by referring to an Odwalla bar as a "food object."
2. I am consuming said food object (oo, tasty food object!) because suddenly, at 2:30, I've hit a wall, and further, I'm starving. I ate cereal and goat yogurt (goatgurt!) and fruit for breakfast; plenty of protein and salad for lunch. But at 2:30, I could eat, with apologies to ladytabitha
, every one of you.
3. I got ogled at the gym today. And you know what? I didn't mind so much.
4. At the ATM, I winced in frustration as I saw the sign on the screen telling me that said ATM was "temporarily unavailable." However, it assuaged my risen hackles slightly by further informing me that it would, in fact, be "available shortly." Shortly is a rather vague and notoriously low estimate of time passage at the best of times, and I had five minutes to be where I was going. But it was around the corner, and for some reason I believed that "shortly" really meant "any minute" in this case. Sure enough, I heard a clunking, and the characteristic whirring the machine makes when it's about to spit out money. I figured it was about to be done being broken. Then, the ATM spoke to me.
"Just a minute!" the surprisingly human female voice said.
I paused, taken aback by this new development. "You can see me?" I asked the machine.
"I see your shadow," the machine responded.
With this mystical pronouncement, the clunking and whirring recommenced, followed shortly thereafter (as promised) with the screen going black, then the red screen welcoming me to my local bank.
A bit perturbed, and with a renewed sense of eerie surveillance (who is the gazer in this creepy culture?), I withdrew my money.
Now I have a sneaking suspicion that ATMs aren't automatic at all; they are in fact cardboard facades behind which people stand holding a VCR remote (with a button that produces a loud beeping noise on command) in one hand, and a fistful of money in the other.